National Donut Day is a time of quiet reflection best spent brushing sprinkles off of your slacks.
While we could spent most of this day engaging in the age-old debate of Doughnut Vs. Donut, let us instead come together in a circle, holding hands… Like a giant human donut.
For this most glorious of national Holey-days (get it?) deserves more than a powdered sugar mustache selfies. Because while bringing donuts to work makes you unanimously loved by coworkers and supervisors alike, there are actual rules when it comes to this pastry’s relationship with the workplace.
So let’s go through the do’s and don’ts of donuts!
NATIONAL DONUT DAY MEANS…DON’T TAKE HALF
I get it, summer is here and you’d rather avoid the extra poundage a whole donut might bring. There’s no shame in that. But let it be known that taking half of a donut is pure mayhem.
Leaving half of its mangled body to sit in an open box amongst its brethren is both cruel, and frankly, a little gross.
Instead, offer to split a donut with a fellow healthivore, or take the whole donut and save half for a treat later on. Either way, it is universally acknowledged that leaving half is frowned upon.
NATIONAL DONUT DAY MEANS…DO SEND AN EMAIL
If you’re the bearer of these delicious fatty halos (go you!) then it is considered good manners to place the sweet treats in the shared break room and send word to your colleagues via email or communal chat.
This gives folks time to prepare for battle as they head towards the kitchenette, and saves you from hoofing it to each office pushing your donuts on busy people. If they are wise, they will come.
NATIONAL DONUT DAY MEANS… DON’T FORCE IT
Nothing is worse than the person who pushes the donut on a disinterested party.
“Want a donut?”
“Come ooooonnnn have one!”
Don’t be this person. The donuts deserve to be consumed by someone who thoroughly enjoys their frosted glory. Ask once, then leave it be.
NATIONAL DONUT DAY MEANS… DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FLAVORS
Some people don’t even have donuts. Be grateful you get even a whiff of that sugary goodness!
NATIONAL DONUT DAY MEANS… DON’T LEAVE THE BOX OUT
If it’s empty, be the hero who tosses the box into the recycling.
You will be saving any latecomers the emotional rollercoaster ride of thinking they will soon be munching on a heavenly circle of fatty-goodness, only to discover a few sprinkles and a greasy tissue paper.
So on this National Donut Day, take the time to adhere to proper workplace donut etiquette, and enjoy the donut the way it was meant to: drama-free, and with lots of icing.