- Public speaking?
- Sudden illness?
- Loss of employment?
A big point of developing emotional intelligence for ultra-high performance is managing those daily destructive emotions. In a big way, destructive emotions hold us back from success. If you are in sales, for instance, one destructive emotion can paralyze and engulf you. It can turn small setbacks into a mountain of uncertainty and fear.
In my new Selling with Emotional Intelligence program, I like to ask sales professionals to list disruptive emotions. Let's go ahead and name the dragons that hold us back:
- Cause a fog of confusion and self-doubt
- Derail meaningful relationships that were meant to bring fulfillment
- Cloud our perspective and cause us to jump to judgement
- Create overreaction and cloud situational awareness
- Lead to paralysis or procrastination
Managing disruptive emotions is a primary leadership and sales meta-skill.
Here is a quick checklist to manage emotions:
Think of positive emotions as a big battery. You have to plug-in and recharge daily with physical and emotional enhancers.
I recently went through a challenging experience and had it not been for my consistent physical workouts, I may have been sabotaged by destructive emotions.
The most effective way I have learned to manage disruptive emotions is to have advance preparation and practice.
Example: Prior to a keynote presentation, I use “commute time” in my car to deliver the keynote at least ten times. I visualize the audience, I visualize myself standing on stage, and I speak (notes free) envisioning my dynamic presentation.
4. Positive visualization
As I mentioned, I visualize success. The brain tends to hijack our emotions with worst-case scenarios and negative outcomes. We need to pre-wire and pre-program our brains for success.
Begin by focusing on your breathing— slow it down. In your “minds eye,” go step-by-step through each part of the call, presentation, one-on-one, etc. and focus on how you feel. Focus on your body language, the tone of your voice, and visualize yourself succeeding.
I often say in Selling with Emotional Intelligence, if emotions can get you in trouble, emotions can keep you from trouble. There are several more strategies I share, in addition to these four, but start by focusing on these:
- Build a reservoir
- Know your triggers
- Prepare and practice
- Positive visualization