You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. —James Clear
All three of LeBron James’ kids play sports. Perhaps not surprisingly, the pressure for these kids to be great is constant, heavy, and loud.
Since James’ oldest kid Bronny was pulled up to the Lakers to play beside his dad, fans have been squawking “nepotism” at the 19-year-old (as if it’s remotely early enough to tell how good Bronny is, and as if no other 19-year-old athlete has gone through an early adjustment period).
Faced with so much noise and such great expectations, it can be quite tough to focus (even if it’s something you’re passionate about). In a recent interview on ESPN on the Pat McAfee show, James shared the advice he gave his kids about managing all this outside noise. “If you love [your sport],” he said, “go out and practice. Don’t worry about the outcome. Fall in love with the process and that [stuff] will take care of itself.”
That’s the emotional intelligence strategy in this article: Fall in Love with the Process. Specifically, this article hones in on two reasons why commitment to the process is such an effective strategy.
1. The Best Defense (Against External Noise) is a Good Offense (Process).
Committing to your process is the ultimate offense against external noise. Noise can come from sources like:
- your own self-doubts
- your parents’ disapproval
- your partner’s disapproval
- your fans’ criticism
- your haters’ criticism
There’s only so much you can do to get rid of that noise—it’s called “noise” for a reason. You can journal through your own self-doubts, set boundaries with the people around you, and ignore the press (if you’re famous). However, those strategies all put you on defense.
To go on offense, try focusing all of your attention on your process. For example, Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgård is one of the most prolific writers of our time. He’s written 16 books and is currently writing at a madman pace of one book per year. His yearly books aren’t skinny little books, either. They’re big, literary tomes. His most recent, The Wolves of Eternity, was over 800 pages. That said, when an interviewer recently asked him about his productivity, he mostly expressed self-doubt. “I think [my work] is boring,” he said. “I’m full of doubt always.” To combat his self-doubt, he explained that he relies on a simple system: He writes three new pages every day and sends them to his editor. His editor reads the pages and responds promptly every morning. Knausgård’s commitment to his process supersedes his self-doubt and keeps him moving forward.
2. Process Builds Positive Emotional Momentum.
The main reason noise throws us off our path is emotional:
- Self-doubt makes you anxious and uncertain
- Parental disapproval weakens your confidence and commitment
- Haters make you insecure
Commitment to process can pull you out of these negative emotions and help you create a cycle of more positive emotions. “Wins” within your system tend to be less outcome-focused and more progress-oriented. For example, every time Knausgård sends his three pages (minimum) to his editor, he gets a boost of positive emotions from accomplishing his day’s goal. Over time, those small wins add up, grooming your confidence. Soon, failure to hit your daily goals will sound much worse than any of the noise that used to paralyze you.
Focusing on the Process Is Symbiotic: You Put Energy in, You Get Energy in Return
You can’t count on outcomes. And you can’t count on people or circumstances to be fair. But you can keep putting your time and energy into the thing you love doing. And it will keep giving back to you, regardless of the outcome. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, 19-year-old Bronny recently had his best game so far for the Lakers: 17 points and five assists in just 30 minutes.
